i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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