I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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