So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
