Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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