filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
