Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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