I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
