idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
