he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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