is your mom at the bar?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
