shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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