He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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