I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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