I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
