Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
