Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
