You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
