Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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