Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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