best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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