fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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