Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
