you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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