Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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