Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
