if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
