check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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