I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
