this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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