...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
