is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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