3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
