she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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