she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
