Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
