hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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