i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
