i don't like sucking hair
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
if only i could text you this smell
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
