cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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