i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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