So drunk, too bad you don't want this
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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