Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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