some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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