i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
