Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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