There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
