Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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