You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
