so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
