used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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