So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
