I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
