Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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