found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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