I'm gonna have a badass scar
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
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